If you are looking for a place to fish, this sign might be a discouragement. However, for the Christian, the message can make you sing. When we give our heart to Jesus and seek forgiveness, He promises that He will forgive. 1 John 1:9, tells us, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins.”
The promise doesn’t stop there. Psalms 103:12, states, “He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.” When the devil or anyone else for that matter, tries to retrieve those old sins, God says, NO FISHING ALLOWED! Can I get an amen?!
The real challenge is believing it. The promise is there. Will you stop fishing in your own pond? You are wasting your joy, your time, and effort. You, my dear, are forgiven. Read the sign and obey the message. “So, if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed,” John 8:36.
Understand God comes first, family second, and friendship comes somewhere after that. Help your friend to uphold these honors. Understand when she cannot talk because her kids need her. Be willing to give grace when she needs time with God over time with you. Encourage her spouse to be her confidant.
Share the spotlight. Get over yourself, yes, I am talking to you. Embrace other friends and encourage her to do the same. You do not need the coveted spot to be special. Let your relationship be what it is. Appreciate it.
Want the best for her. Be the cheerleader. Lift her up in her strengths and cover her faults. Support her dreams and ambitions. Celebrate her victories.
Let her be herself and give her your true self. I love the people I can sink into a chair, throw off my shoes, and sit cross-legged eating cookies with. These are my girls that if they show up unexpectedly, it is okay if you are a mess. You know they love you. You share your flaws and all. Be that friend.
Ask for what you need. Don’t expect her to know. If your life is falling apart, ask if she can set aside time for you. Ask her what she needs. Am I being a good friend to you? How can I be more supportive?
Treat her the same regardless of the audience. Y’all girls can be mean. Don’t be a part of conversations that are targeted to bash your pal.
Pray for her. Ask her how can I pray for you? Then do it.
Be a person of your word. If you say you are going to do something follow through.
Recently, I encountered a life change that was hard. Change is hard, isn’t it ladies? I knew it was coming. I had been praying into it for a few years. God was faithful and in an instant what was, was no more. I found myself looking back. I was sad. Grieving a life change is not only good, but healthy. The problem was I was looking back longing.
When I prayed about it through teary eyes, God said “grieve if you must, but it’s time to pick a side, you can’t straddle the fence.” I knew what He meant. I had prayed for two years. He answered my prayer and I was bordering ungratefulness.
I remembered Lot’s wife. You can read the story in Genesis 19:16-26. Angels were sent to rescue Lot and his family from Sodom. The sin was out of control and God destroyed the city. The Lord sent angels to bring Lot’s family out as the one and only family of believers. In a mad dash, the family fled. As they did, a fire stormed down on the town. The Lord’s instruction upon exiting was don’t look back. She did. You might think well, it’s storming fire, who wouldn’t look. That is not what happened here. Her look back was one of sadness and longing of what she lost in obedience to God.
As I write this I feel the sting of the truth. Lot’s wife was turned into a pillar of salt. Not only do I not want to be a salt shaker, but I also don’t want to hurt God. God is so good. He is faithful. He asks only that I am grateful.
Lord, forgive this silly woman for her grieving what was not in your plan. I want you and I want what you want.
Men don’t always share what they need. We know they need prayer, but will they ask for it. I have been married 26 years and I don’t remember my man ever saying will you pray for me? I on the other hand ask all the time. I am grateful that I know He does. I pray fervently for him anyway-that will teach him!!!
When we lie in bed he is always the first one to doze off. I simply lay my hand on his head, chest, or arm and pray over him. I will pray over his tired working body. I know he needs it and appreciates it. Occasionally, I even hear him say something that I know I prayed for him about. God is listening.
Each man is different but this is a general idea:
Pray for his physical body to be restored as he sleeps.
Pray for specific issues of health he has or predisposed to genetically. For my guy it’s the heart.
Pray that he knows and feels God’s love for him.
Pray that he knows and feels my love and appreciation for him.
Pray that we can love each other how God intends.
Pray God’s will for his life.
Pray for wisdom in all his decision making.
Pray for his leadership of the family to be in line with God’s plans.
Pray for God to show you how to love this man.
Pray for his relationships with friends and family to be fruitful and encouraging.
Pray that he be encouraged and have joy. The joy of the Lord is our strength. Nehemiah 8:10
Your man will thank you for praying for him even if he doesn’t know how much he needs it. Most of our fellas work hard and get very little thanks. We need them. They need us too. More importantly, we need God.
If I have said it once, I have said it a thousand times. Life is hard, but man is it. Sometimes crisis hits and you crumble to the floor. If you have kids you will probably hide it. Oh girl, do I get it. To a point, we can shelter children from adult problems, like bills. You can share emotions without sharing the burden. What I mean is, if grandpa died share your grief. Children have feelings. It is healthy for a child to grieve too. Share the promise of eternity but also share your sadness. Kids are smart. They feel and have the intuition to know when things are not right. It is confusing to a child for you to say “everything is fine,” when they feel the sadness in the air. They see adults’ continence be somber when their words say all is good.
A solution for this is to share grief in terms they can understand.
Say the words death, dying, or died. It helps them define it.
Tell the truth.
Then give them context of how we handle death in your family. Explain the funeral traditions, what they will hear and see.
Then ask what they would like to do. Some children will want to be involved while others would prefer to stand back and watch. Let them know both are okay. This will allow them to feel some sense of security and control.
Allow your child to talk about it. Children at times might say things that seem cold or odd. That is normal. The situation is new to them. They are feeling it out. An example, is grandpa dead? Will worms eat him? Can I play trucks? This is uneasy. Just know it is how a child handles it.
Cry with them. Hold them until they let go.
Teens will want to be alone or with friends. Even though it is a family situation, teens seek comfort from friends first. Allow them too. Don’t pressure them to be an adult yet.
Check-in from time to time and ask if your child wants to talk.
Look for changes in their behaviors in the months ahead. For example, bed wetting, angry outbursts, tearful episodes, grades dropping, or social interactions changing.
Counseling is a great option for kids. It’s a safe place to talk without feeling responsible for the adults around you.
Ever heard the phrase if you’re going to talk the talk, then walk the walk. I don’t know where it came from but it is a great reminder and is definitely important in parenting. However, what I see going wrong is, parents show what they think is best not exposing their true struggle. Life is hard. Kids are small adults. The package is different but the emotions are the same. Model what to do. Failure is a tough one. Let me share an example with you. A single mom who recently came to Christ. She now views her parenting in a different light. She feels like a failure. She knows her children are old enough to see the old patterns and new ways.
Everyone experiences failure. Man, it hurts to fail in front of your children. What a teachable moment. You want them to remember this is how it was and once you identify the problem you make goals to change it. Failure is not the end of the sentence. Instead, put a comma. Show your child the difference Jesus can make in your life. Read the Bible together and create a strategy for change to line up with His word. I guarantee your child will gain respect and lifelong tools for success. Is that failure? No way.
My mom always said God paid more attention to a mother’s prayer. I don’t know if that is true but I sure liked the sound of it. Momming is hard stuff. A mother can scope out a creepy boyfriend, a clingy girlfriend, or trouble a mile away. The internet has been our worst nightmare and best advocate for snooping. Let’s be honest ladies! I have some girlfriends that could work for the CIA.
The most powerful tool we have is prayer. You are equipped to send your child out the door on their own with the Almighty God on their side. Can you think of a better bodyguard?
God can be where you can’t. God can bring light into darkness.
You raised this kid and he/she might test the bounds but in their minds somewhere is all the sayings you had. When they go somewhere they know they shouldn’t be, they hear your voice.
Here is a list of my favorite topics of prayers for my big babies (I meant to do that)!
Ask their heart to be set on Christ. Salvation is the number one prayer for any child who might be on the fence.
Pray for their safety. Ask the Lord to send His angels to surround them.
Pray that if they do wrong, they are found out. Consequences are a great teacher.
Pray they remember who they are, a child of God. They are worthy, valuable, and precious in His eyes.
Pray God’s will over their life. Allow God to take the wheel.
Pray in the dark of night they feel God’s presence reassuring them.
Pray for their relationships to be fruitful ones. Friends who help them grow. Friends or other relationships that foster their faith.
Pray for the Holy Spirit to bring strong conviction and guidance.
Ask for them to have wisdom and discernment.
Pray their dating relationships draw them closer to God and God’s will.
Pray for their future spouse and their relationship to Christ.
Pray that they know and feel the love of God.
Download a free printable of these prayers by clicking on the download button below to keep in your Bible or where you can readily access.
No one prepared me for this part of parenting. Sister, I don’t know about you, but this stage is hard! When asked to introduce myself I share that I am married and have three half-grown kiddos. The punchline is two are legally adults but they don’t always act like it. How do you balance giving advice but not suffocating them?
I feel my kids cringing, as I type. And yes, if you wonder, they will read this blog. “How sweet that they read your content,” you say, no, they will read so they can bring it up! The half-grown love a good argument!
A constant prayer has been for the Lord to allow me to parent like Him. I ask to know when to hold close and when to let go. When they are little it’s easier to know because they will say exactly what they need. Hold me! Let me do it! When they get big they want to do it themselves but will not ask for help if it kills them. Inside they can be crumbling and out of their mouths, “gosh mom, I am fine, quit making a big deal of everything!”
I am in the midst of this season, so this blog can be taken with a grain of salt.
My husband and I survived a prodigal. I thought we would never survive. It’s that heartache and struggle from which I now parent.
I have some truths under my belt now. This is a short list of my go-to truths in this season of life. Are you with me, momma? We can get through this!
God is faithful. Our job is to plant the seed.
Live by example.
Let go of little things. There are so many little things and to each one this is defined differently. For me the clean bedroom is not so important. Lying is a big deal. I focus on building trust.
They are listening, always listening. Important life lessons can be taught in conversation better than corrective times. When they share what their friends are doing for example.
Ask questions, get them thinking. Our children are smarter than we give them credit.
Trust your instincts. If you think something is wrong it probably is. Try to chase them down and hug them. Just reassure, don’t pry.
Let them have their secrets. You don’t need to know everything, momma. When they share shocking information-don’t freak out!!!
Spend time their way. Text, facetime or lay on their bed. Time is precious. Remember “Cats In The Cradle” song by Harry Chapman Carpenter?
Remember God knew who you were and what you are capable of when He gave you this child. You’ve got this! Don’t be a friend, be mom, it’s time to transition to a big kid mom and that takes time.
My prodigal came home. God is faithful. Parenting is a challenge at every stage. Sometimes I just want to go back to laying on the floor playing tractors. It felt simple. Now, its late-night conversations. It’s all good!
