TEACHABLE MOMENTS: FAILURE

TEACHABLE MOMENTS:FAILURE

Ever heard the phrase if you’re going to talk the talk, then walk the walk. I don’t know where it came from but it is a great reminder and is definitely important in parenting. However, what I see going wrong is, parents show what they think is best not exposing their true struggle. Life is hard. Kids are small adults. The package is different but the emotions are the same. Model what to do. Failure is a tough one. Let me share an example with you. A single mom who recently came to Christ. She now views her parenting in a different light. She feels like a failure. She knows her children are old enough to see the old patterns and new ways. 

Everyone experiences failure. Man, it hurts to fail in front of your children. What a teachable moment. You want them to remember this is how it was and once you identify the problem you make goals to change it. Failure is not the end of the sentence.  Instead, put a comma. Show your child the difference Jesus can make in your life. Read the Bible together and create a strategy for change to line up with His word. I guarantee your child will gain respect and lifelong tools for success. Is that failure?  No way. 

Do I Share My Past With My Kids?

This topic has come up more than any others in conversations with other moms of teens. I value the truth. Do you remember being their age? Man, I would not repeat those years. I was so insecure and had more questions than answers. I wondered how my parents were? How did they do at some of these temptations? I knew right from wrong. When everyone is doing this or that staying pure in actions seems old school or impossible. Parents just don’t understand!!!

A problem is parents tell kids what they want them to do, not how they navigated those rough waters. Kids ultimately want to please their parents. These youths are not perfect and neither are we. 

I chose to share with my kids my flaws. I have told them things of which I was ashamed. I told stories that were hard to say. Not only did I state the facts, I added the emotional regret that comes with poor choices.  This is a great segway to the Bible. Kids want to know why not just no. 

There is a time and place to say “because I said so.”  Not here. My children were at the edge of their seats when I shared my sin. I gave insight to excuses I made why it was okay. At this point, I share what God says and how His Word cannot only keep us pure but live a life with no regrets. Some things just can’t be undone. The open dialogue was a good foundation for the following years. Kids want our advice but they want to trust you to tell the truth. Respect goes both ways. I know it’s hard to see your sin through their eyes but you want to be their advocate, not their boss. Life is hard. We all need a soft place to fall.