Facing Death FAQ
1. What does it feel like to die?
Obviously, I have never died. I have however came close and that coupled with years of research and
experience from brought me to my conclusions. Pain can be part of the dying process yet, usually is resolved in the few days prior. My experience, was being washed over with calm. I had random thoughts of concern yet no emotion came with it. I was at peace. Some people will see a light. It is not uncommon to see loved ones who have passed on before. Dying might see Jesus or angels. Most die in a subtle way. Reports show that hearing is increased and sound heard even a few minutes after the heart has stopped.
2. Will I be afraid?
I believe God prepares us for our death. By the time you die, you have resolved the fear and that allows the release. Death is a time of closure. God will work out all the details, giving you the opportunity to let go. One thing I have seen consistently is peace. People who have experienced near death experience share an overwhelming sense of love or peace that was indescribable. That feeling will wash over you and put you at ease. God’s presence is close to usher you home.
3. What if I don’t believe in God?
You have a right to die your own way. It is unlikely, one will chose disease or death. However, you have a
choice on how to react to the news and face your death. God gives free will and man has the right to use it. However, God makes death easier. God provides hope to the dying. God offers something after this world. If you change your mind it’s never too late until your gone. You can do it alone or chose to let Him help you.
4. How do I tell people?
This is tough. I have found people can handle the truth when we are gentle about it. Be honest and pick a time when you feel empowered to do so. Pray and ask God to help give you the words and the right timing. Its okay to share how it makes you feel. You do not need to be strong. Its okay to grieve your own death.
5. How do I say goodbye?
Be honest. Be true to you. Do not feel like you need to protect people from your death. Let God help them through it. You take the time to end the journey well. Tell those around you how you feel about them. To know your dying can be a gift. You can resolve and make things right.
6. How can I make my death meaningful?
You make it meaningful by trusting yourself. Say what you feel, and do what you need to do. Ask people for what you need. Let others that you love and trust to be part of what is going on. Do you have a wish? Do you want to plan your service? Are there letters or videos you want to prepare? It is a hard time, and I realize this might not be your way. Just know there is no right or wrong way to do it.
7. How do I protect my child?
You can never protect your kids from losing you or someone close to them. It is a natural part of life. What you can do is let them be apart of the process. The best thing to do is have open communication and let them be apart. Give them a say in what they do and don’t do as much as possible. Do not leave them out. Do not hide it from them. Kids know when things are not right. They know when you are saying one thing and mean another. Kids will grieve and can do it in a healthy way by grieving with you.
8. How to I protect my family?
You can’t. Please do not leave them out. Include them and grieve together. You will get through this the same way you get through every other trial in life-together.
9. Why me?
I don’t know friend. I am so sorry. I can tell you that you are not alone. Suffering is apart of this world. Suffering happens to everyone. Saying that it doesn’t make it easy. I can tell you that you are not being punished. We all ask ourselves that question at some point in our life. Everyone will face death, yet, not all at a young age. The feelings you have are normal and I get it. It is okay to be mad, angry or just sad that your in this place. Life has a way of putting us in situations we never thought we would be in making decisions we never thought we would make.
10. Where can I go for help?
If you are connected with a hospice or palliative care team then ask them for resources in your area.
11. What if I want to die, is that okay?
There is no judgement on you for how you feel. If you have been struggling with illness for a long time, then you may be ready to quit the battle. A lot of people come to this conclusion, and of course it’s okay to feel that way. Saying that, if you are having thoughts of suicide then you should seek counsel with your physician or counselor. There is a difference between, I am ready to die and I am going to kill myself. I do not believe in taking your own life. I believe our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. I believe we are to honor life until it’s not ours to hold. God is the author of Life.