When is a good time to seek counseling? If you have been advised from friends, family, or another profession, then it is a good time to consider. Other reasons you might consult a counselor would be:
Consuming thoughts that make it hard to concentrate or sleep.
If daily tasks are hard to manage due to your change in mood.
Feelings of anxiety, depression or guilt that will not go away.
Coping skills that are no longer working.
Work life or relationships are suffering due to your challenges to cope.
Compound or complicated grief.
Do not be afraid of counseling. It is not a label. We all need help from time to time. Counseling is a positive part of a good plan for better mental health.
Do you ever feel like you just cannot measure up? If you focus on the perfection of God, you can feel like you’re never good enough. Does God expect perfection from you?
He is a good, good father. As a father, He loves first and always. God looks at you through the eyes of a loving, caring and involved father. He leads by example. He accepts your imperfections and gives grace for the learning curve.
God provides clear boundaries and consistent discipline. You can rely on His standards to lead. And a soft place to fall when you fail. What does God expect of you?
God expects you to be honest. Love is most important. If you love God, you will make time for Him. If you love Him, you will respect. If you love Him, you will obey. Obedience is better than sacrifice in God’s eyes.
God does not expect perfection. Yet, He expects you to show up and share the love He has for you.
Trauma happens. Trauma is a “deeply distressing or disturbing experience”, according to Oxford Dictionary. What makes an experience traumatic is dependent on how the individual views the event. Examples of trauma are abandonment, abuse, neglect, accidents, death to name a few.
Below is a list of symptoms of trauma (list is not exhaustive):
Difficulty sleeping
Flashbacks
Anxiety
Overeating/eating disorders
Substance abuse
Poor decision making
Relationship issues
Poor job attendance
If you have unresolved issues from your past that are affecting you today, you may need to work through your trauma. Acknowledging the symptoms are related is a great start. It is not an excuse for bad behavior but is a reason for distorted mind sets that can cause negative results.
If you find yourself in these scenarios you might benefit from counseling.
Counseling can identify the cause or root of the issue. Symptoms may resolve within a few sessions or many depending on the severity.
A good counseling relationship will be one that you feel some relief after sessions. You will need to be honest and willing to try new things. The counselor should be someone you trust who has experience in trauma.
Sessions can be a mixture of talk therapy, activities, and suggestions for changing the mindset and healing. The goal in counseling is healing.
If you are interested in counseling Tara Powell Ministries offers reduced rate counseling or can refer you to someone.
Change your tomorrow today by contacting us at www.tarapowellministries.com.
Being a parent is hard on a good day. From the moment your child is born it is about them. Parenting is a self-less responsibility. The pressure to be perfect is always there. And that, my friends, is an impossible task.
Take a deep breath. Realize perfection does not exist -then get your game plan together. A healthy parent is the best gift to give your child. When you take care of you and make good decisions that support your physical and emotional well being, it will only help your child.
Living out the lessons in real time and being the example makes a lasting impact. What we do speaks louder than words. If you are starting over after a death, a new lease on life, new life in Christ or a divorce, how you respond to your mistake or trial far outweighs the mistake or trail.
Failure and loss are part of life. You are the teacher. The best teachers teach, not preach. Teach them how to navigate the rough waters of life. Do not be ashamed to share your disappointment and mistakes. Imagine for a moment what advice you would give your child if they were starting over. Then put boots to it.
Girl meets boy. They giggle at every joke. They swoon over each glance. The little sweet nothings become big heart palpitating moments. As time passes the laughter will need to be deserved. The glances might be forgotten. Sweet nothings get overlooked while wishing for big moments.
Happily ever after might be a fairy tale or just a perception. As special becomes ordinary, the magic can be, well, not so magical. This is where a marriage can be tested. Someone else comes along who giggles at every joke and swoons with each glance. Affairs are often not about someone better looking or wanting something more but about wanting what they had.
Contentment is the key to happiness. Being grateful for what you have instead of looking for something new and fresh. The fire is there, it just needs to be kindled. Remember the why. Why did you fall in love?
Pray. Ask God to reveal how He looks at your spouse. God sees the potential. God loves the ordinary. God knows their best and accepts the worst. God always loves. Before you throw away something beautiful, take the time to focus on what would be lost. Give God time to work.
I love books. Some books have literally changed my life by changing my outlook. The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman is one of those.
As a young married couple, I was struggling with the normal tug of wanting things to be the way I needed them to be. I have always been a good communicator. I believe I was telling my husband what I needed. I knew he loved me. My attitude was if he loved me, he would…fill in the blank.
I read Chapman’s book and put it to practice. Instead of seeing my husband through the eyes of disappointment, I started seeing him through his love language. Surprise, surprise my husband is not like me. He responds differently to situations than I do. He loves differently than I do.
Reflecting on who he loves and how he shows it to those he loves was the answer. Guess what? He loves me! My hubby is a doer and gift giver. I on the other hand show love by speaking words and spending time. I felt unloved when he did not write me letters or express verbally what I longed to hear. Stepping back was a game changer. Not a snowy day passed that my sidewalk was not cleared before he went to work. For a stay-at-home mom it seemed silly but now I know that was my words. Instead of dropping everything to sit and cuddle he would buy me something that I mentioned one-time months ago that I liked.
As I began to appreciate the way he loved me an interesting thing happened. He started showing me the way I wanted as well. I can say I grew too. I try to remember that he would feel loved if I washed his truck. I went from feeling frustrated to feeling incredibly grateful. Life is funny. We do not always get what we want but we get what we need. I got my prince. I just needed to understand how to appreciate him.
How do I know if I have a calling? A calling is a strong urge toward a vocation according to the Oxford Dictionary. For a Christian it can go a bit broader than that. Are you called? How do you know?
We are all called. Matthew 28:19-20, “Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.”
You have a place in the kingdom of God and it’s not being a pew dweller. There is more to being a Christian than listening on Sunday. However, balance that with not everyone is a preacher, teacher or called to the pulpit. Where do you fall?
First and foremost, pray and seek God for direction. Most do not know their calling because they do not ask God. They try to figure it out based on others input or what they enjoy or are good at. I would have never made it past children’s church if that were the case. I was comfortable and people gave pats on the back for my time. Moses was a stumbling speaker, but he was called to speak.
Second surrender your gifts, talents and time to the Lord to use as He chooses. Guess what? It is not about you. It’s about God and what He created you to do. There are assessment tools to help you determine what your gifts are. Regardless, it will take surrender. What would have happened if the disciples had not surrendered? For one thing, they would not have been the chosen twelve. Surrender is a requirement for serious discipleship.
Put fear at bay. If God calls you to it, He will get you through it. Some are afraid to even pray that prayer, afraid God will ask something of them they are unwilling to do. When God called Noah to build the ark, he provided detailed instructions. The same can be said for Moses.
Want to know your calling? Know your God. The rest will fall into place.
A good Godly marriage involves three people. You read that right. You, your spouse, and the Lord. Marriage is a serious, lifelong commitment. I believe that couples who marry, intend for it to be a forever deal. Marriage is hard. The Lord is the glue that will not allow for separation even when the going gets tough.
Marriage is the combining of two imperfect people bringing all their baggage to the relationship. God can be the buffer. I would love to share with you a few valuable things I have learned the hard way I.
Commitment, the ties that bind, the vows you spoke to agree to stay together no matter what. These aren’t just words. They are actions…so commit yourself anew to them.
After the death of our son, we knew that the statistics increased exponentially that our marriage would not make it. For that reason, we set rules and dug our heels in.
The rules were put in place so that in the heat of the moment we would fight to stay together, not fight each other. When we fought, no one left. No one name called. No one threatened to leave. With these rules in place, there was respect even in the argument. No saying things you did not mean. And even when you were mad, you knew the goal was to resolve.
There is no teasing or alluding of flirting with others. We safeguard our marriage by not having relationships that require alone time with opposite sex. As innocent as it may start, we value our commitment enough not to get close.
Another thing we did was speaking truth and life into the marriage. Matthew 19:6, “What God has joined together let no man put asunder.” In addition, I would pray that I give my husband what he needs and that he would know what I needed. I asked God to intervene. To help us to love each other. I still pray that my husband feels loved and appreciated.
Let God be the tie breaker. Sometimes you can agree to disagree. I mean who cares if the toilet paper roll is over or under. On important matters, we will pray on it. If my husband wants to move forward with something, and I am uncomfortable, I ask him to pray about it. This transforms the situation into a matter of prayer instead of me against him. Our marriage is sacred, and we treat it that way.
A good Godly marriage involves three people. You read that right. You, your spouse, and the Lord. Marriage is a serious, lifelong commitment. I believe that couples who marry, intend for it to be a forever deal. Marriage is hard. The Lord is the glue that will not allow for separation even when the going gets tough.
Marriage is the combining of two imperfect people bringing all their baggage to the relationship. God can be the buffer. I would love to share with you a few valuable things I have learned the hard way I.
Commitment, the ties that bind, the vows you spoke to agree to stay together no matter what. These aren’t just words. They are actions…so commit yourself anew to them.
After the death of our son, we knew that the statistics increased exponentially that our marriage would not make it. For that reason, we set rules and dug our heels in.
The rules were put in place so that in the heat of the moment we would fight to stay together, not fight each other. When we fought, no one left. No one name called. No one threatened to leave. With these rules in place, there was respect even in the argument. No saying things you did not mean. And even when you were mad, you knew the goal was to resolve.
There is no teasing or alluding of flirting with others. We safeguard our marriage by not having relationships that require alone time with opposite sex. As innocent as it may start, we value our commitment enough not to get close.
Another thing we did was speaking truth and life into the marriage. Matthew 19:6, “What God has joined together let no man put asunder.” In addition, I would pray that I give my husband what he needs and that he would know what I needed. I asked God to intervene. To help us to love each other. I still pray that my husband feels loved and appreciated.
Let God be the tie breaker. Sometimes you can agree to disagree. I mean who cares if the toilet paper roll is over or under. On important matters, we will pray on it. If my husband wants to move forward with something, and I am uncomfortable, I ask him to pray about it. This transforms the situation into a matter of prayer instead of me against him. Our marriage is sacred, and we treat it that way.
John 10:27, “My sheep listen to my voice: I know them, and they follow me.” God speaks to His children. His message may not be audible. The Lord speaks in many ways. This verse tells us we will know it is God.
In my experience it is not that easy. God speaks through hearing His voice. In addition, His Scripture can speak to us or have you ever opened the Bible and read the verse you needed at the time. At times, it might be through another person who unknowingly speaks something that answers your nagging question and instantly you know. Dreams are a way the Lord has spoken to me and others in the Bible. The dreams come like a mystery. I know when it’s from the Lord when I keep thinking of it and remember it so clearly. I will then record it and pray for the message. Followed by sharing with someone I trust for input.
How do you know it is God?
God will never go against His word.
God’s direction will give peace.
Usually, it is a word that requires great faith.
God is not the author of confusion. 1 Corinthians 14:33
God will confirm.
When I hear from the Lord, I will take in the words. I record it in my journal. I pray for confirmation. I sit with it until I get direction. I avoid my own reasoning. That brings confusion. Psalms 46:10, “Be still and know I am God.” You can share with someone who will pray with you. But be careful who you share it with. Remember Joseph shared with his brothers who threw him in a pit. What God tells us, others often do not understand. God knows best. Listen to Him and let Him lead you.
