A good Godly marriage involves three people. You read that right. You, your spouse, and the Lord. Marriage is a serious, lifelong commitment. I believe that couples who marry, intend for it to be a forever deal. Marriage is hard. The Lord is the glue that will not allow for separation even when the going gets tough.
Marriage is the combining of two imperfect people bringing all their baggage to the relationship. God can be the buffer. I would love to share with you a few valuable things I have learned the hard way I.
Commitment, the ties that bind, the vows you spoke to agree to stay together no matter what. These aren’t just words. They are actions…so commit yourself anew to them.
After the death of our son, we knew that the statistics increased exponentially that our marriage would not make it. For that reason, we set rules and dug our heels in.
The rules were put in place so that in the heat of the moment we would fight to stay together, not fight each other. When we fought, no one left. No one name called. No one threatened to leave. With these rules in place, there was respect even in the argument. No saying things you did not mean. And even when you were mad, you knew the goal was to resolve.
There is no teasing or alluding of flirting with others. We safeguard our marriage by not having relationships that require alone time with opposite sex. As innocent as it may start, we value our commitment enough not to get close.
Another thing we did was speaking truth and life into the marriage. Matthew 19:6, “What God has joined together let no man put asunder.” In addition, I would pray that I give my husband what he needs and that he would know what I needed. I asked God to intervene. To help us to love each other. I still pray that my husband feels loved and appreciated.
Let God be the tie breaker. Sometimes you can agree to disagree. I mean who cares if the toilet paper roll is over or under. On important matters, we will pray on it. If my husband wants to move forward with something, and I am uncomfortable, I ask him to pray about it. This transforms the situation into a matter of prayer instead of me against him. Our marriage is sacred, and we treat it that way.
John 10:27, “My sheep listen to my voice: I know them, and they follow me.” God speaks to His children. His message may not be audible. The Lord speaks in many ways. This verse tells us we will know it is God.
In my experience it is not that easy. God speaks through hearing His voice. In addition, His Scripture can speak to us or have you ever opened the Bible and read the verse you needed at the time. At times, it might be through another person who unknowingly speaks something that answers your nagging question and instantly you know. Dreams are a way the Lord has spoken to me and others in the Bible. The dreams come like a mystery. I know when it’s from the Lord when I keep thinking of it and remember it so clearly. I will then record it and pray for the message. Followed by sharing with someone I trust for input.
How do you know it is God?
God will never go against His word.
God’s direction will give peace.
Usually, it is a word that requires great faith.
God is not the author of confusion. 1 Corinthians 14:33
God will confirm.
When I hear from the Lord, I will take in the words. I record it in my journal. I pray for confirmation. I sit with it until I get direction. I avoid my own reasoning. That brings confusion. Psalms 46:10, “Be still and know I am God.” You can share with someone who will pray with you. But be careful who you share it with. Remember Joseph shared with his brothers who threw him in a pit. What God tells us, others often do not understand. God knows best. Listen to Him and let Him lead you.
Choosing your battles is a phrase you commonly hear as advice for raising kids. It is good advice for all things in life. If you give energy and focus to each thing with which you disagree, you will be on a fast track to depletion. What deserves your best today? What is worth spending “fight” on? Your sanity is worth letting some things go.
Joy is not given, it is earned. Joy happens when we trust God to do His job and we can move out of His way. Our job is to trust and obey. Joy will rise as peace is found. Peace is letting go of menial things that will not matter. Ask yourself, will this matter in ten years? Can I walk away from this? If the answer is yes, walk away.
If you oversee an event or project, there will be many things from big to little that need to be done. If you micromanage you will make everyone miserable including yourself. If you let go of details that will not change the overall goal, you can focus on the big pieces that are at the core. In ten years will anyone remember if the table cloths were red or blue. NO. They will remember the cause and what was accomplished.
Limit the things that you must accomplish alone. Then rate the importance of all things that will need done. Appoint dependable people and then let go. This can be applied to a lot of areas in our life. From work to relationships. Let go of the dirty towels that fall one foot from the laundry hamper. Focus on date nights. In ten years, the laundry will not hold you together. Investing time in your marriage will matter.
Are you seeking peace in your life? Tired of the chaos? Peace is the epitome of a hope in one’s life. Peace cannot be manufactured or bought. Peace is obtained. Obtained unlike other achievements. The harder you try for peace the further away it becomes.
Peace is obtained through our relationship with Jesus. Jesus becomes our peace. As we trust and obey, we let go of chaos and quit trying to figure out things for ourselves. We lose our grip on what we fooled ourselves that we controlled. Being out of control doesn’t have to be negative. It can be the freedom you seek.
You do not have to figure it out. You can relax, shut off the world’s noise and put your trust in the one who has always been in control. Let go. Let loose. Trust Jesus. There and only there, you will find peace.
Matthew 22:39, “And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.”
The great paradox of this passage is we must first love ourselves to love others. How do you love yourself and not be prideful? Is it a fine line? I do not think so. When you share with someone you love that they have value, you tell them how much you love them. Your hope is that your love for them will be enough to help them love themselves. Love at its best is God’s love for us. He loves us first. We use that as our foundation.
What is commonly used as the greatest expression of love? “I would die for you.” Jesus did that. You cannot be loved more. Remember that when you consider if you are enough. He already said you were.
Get to know yourself. What do you like? Be kind to yourself. Be your best friend. Give space for what you love and what helps you be your best. Exercise to feel good. Do your hobbies. Take the trip. Eat the cookie.
Give your emotions importance. Be in tune with what you feel. Allow those feelings, give them a name. Take time to work through your pain and heal.
Spend time with those who love and support who you are – Jesus being your main man. Talk to Him. Read the Bible, His love letter to you. Let Him take care of you.
Get rest. There is always a “to do” list. Value yourself enough to rest. Not only is it important to your overall health. God put it in His top ten, the commandments.
Loving yourself is taking care of yourself. Pride is putting yourself first and giving yourself all the credit.
Prayer is the most powerful tool you have in your arsenal. Regardless of ability, every human can pray. That is a remarkable truth. Prayer is the communication you have with God. Prayer can be a two-way conversation. Do you question if you are doing it right? How do you start if you never have? This post is for you.
Be yourself. God knows your voice. He wants to hear from you. Just like you desire to hear from those you care about. You know if they are putting on a front.
Prayer can be done many ways. You can pray when you feel like it. Pray daily at a certain time. Pray in your mind, outloud or with others. Prayer can be long, short or in between. Just start talking.
Start the prayer the way that feels comfortable to you. For example, “Dear Jesus”, “Heavenly Father” or “God.”
Remember He just desires to spend time with you and hear your heart.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-11, Solomon wrote this book near the end of his life. His writings are symbolic of his life review. A man who sees the finish line in sight, yet must still complete the race. He starts his writings saying, “everything is meaningless,” and ends with elements of true faith. Solomon was the son of David. 1 Kings 10 describes King Solomon was greater in riches and wisdom than all other kings of the earth. The whole world sought audience with Solomon to hear the wisdom God had put in his heart.
Later in chapter 11, reads, King Solomon loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh’s daughter-Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hitties. They were from nations about which the Lord had told the Israelites not to marry because they didn’t believe in God. Solomon had 700 wives and royal birth and 300 concubines and his wives led him astray. So, he did evil in the eyes of the Lord.
It is surprising to me that his wisdom didn’t keep him on the straight and narrow. I guess that shows our hearts can lead us astray. Solomon wrote the Proverbs and has much wisdom yet it was tainted by sin. As Solomon’s body was failing him, he reviewed his life and summed it up as meaningless. He could see that his ways profited him nothing. He was at the mercy of the God he betrayed. As you read Ecclesiastes, he points out some great lessons he acquired. In Ch 4 v 9, e points out that two are better than one. In Ch5 v 10, Whoever loves money never has enough, following verse 12 that records the sleep of a laborer is sweet. Meaning that working for what you have allows you to rest. In chapter 7, a good name is better than perfume, a day of death better than the day of birth. Solomon had surely ruined his reputation. He had big shoes to fill in his father David. The day of death better than the day of birth was grim. Consider this is written 1,000 years before Jesus Christ. There was no promise of eternity, could he be forgiven from all he had done without the blood of Jesus. In those days it was forgiveness by sacrifice. How many sacrifices could be made from making the same mistake 700 times?
In closing he writes, when times are good be happy, but when times are bad consider God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future. However may years a man may live, let him enjoy them all. His last line, from the wisest man to ever live, hang on…Fear God and keep his commandments for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment including every hidden thing whether good or evil.
Solomon didn’t have the hope of eternity so life he seemed up as meaningless. The richest and wisest man of the world summed his life up to meaningless. The reason is simple-he didn’t obey the Lord. He spent his days chasing about what felt good in the moment. In the end, it broke him. His wisdom was no help. We are so blessed. We have Jesus. Maybe you relate to Solomon and you are looking over your life as empty and meaningless. You can make things right today. You do not have to wait and its not too late.
This week we hit on an important topic: How to hear from God. Below you will find both FB Lives on the subject as well as supporting Scripture. How does God speak to you ? How do you cultivate active listening when it comes to God speaking to you?
Day 1
John 10:3-5, “He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice.”
Day 2
1 Samuel 3:1-21, “In those days the word of the Lord was rare; there were not many visions” One night Eli, whose eyes were becoming weak that he could barely see, was lying down in his usual place. The lam p of God had not yet gone out, and Samuel was lying down in the temple of the Lord, where the ark of God was. Then the Lord called Samuel. Samuel answered, “Here I am. And he ran to Eli and said, “Here I am you called me.” But Eli said, “I did not call; go back and lie down. So he went and he lay down. Again the Lord called, “Samuel! And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, here I am you called.” My son, Eli said, “I did not call go back and lie down. Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord. The word of the Lord had not yet been revealed to him. The Lord called Samuel a third time and Samuel got up and went to Eli and said here I am; you called me. Then Eli realized the Lord was calling the boy, So Eli told Samuel God and lie down and if he calls you say, Speak, Lord for your servant is listening. So Samuel went and lay down in his place. The Lord came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!”Then Samuel said, “Speak for your servant is listening.
Psalms 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.”
I Kings 19:1-13,” And the word of the Lord came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah? He replied, “I have been zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altar and put your prophets to death with the sword, I am the only one left, and not they are trying to kill me too. The Lord said, Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord for the Lord is about to pass by. Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah hear it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.”
1 Samuel 28:15 Samuel said to Saul, “Why have you disturbed me by bringing me up?” “I am in great distress,” Saul said. “The Philistines are fighting against me, and God has departed from me. He no longer answers me, either by prophets or by dreams. So I have called on you to tell me what to do.”
Acts 2:17 “In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams.
Daniel 1:17 “To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning. And Daniel could understand visions and dreams of all kinds.”
Ecclesiastes 5:7,”Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore fear God.”
Genesis 20:3, “But God came to Abimelek in a dream one night and said to him, “You are as good as dead because of the woman you have taken; she is a married woman.”
Genesis 40:8 “We both had dreams,” they answered, “but there is no one to interpret them.” Then Joseph said to them, “Do not interpretations belong to God? Tell me your dreams.”
Genesis 42:9, “Then he remembered his dreams about them and said to them, “You are spies! You have come to see where our land is unprotected.”
Matthew 2:13,”When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. “Get up,” he said, “take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him.”
Matthew 2:19,” After Herod died, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt.”
Numbers 12:6, “he said, “Listen to my words: “When there is a prophet among you, I, the LORD, reveal myself to them in visions, I speak to them in dreams.”
Zechariah 10:2,”The idols speak deceitfully, diviners see visions that lie; they tell dreams that are false, they give comfort in vain. Therefore the people wander like sheep oppressed for lack of a shepherd.”
Joel 2:28, “And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions.
Isaiah 29:7-8, “Then the hordes of all the nations that fight against Ariel, that attack her and her fortress and besiege her, will be as it is with a dream, with a vision in the night— 8 as when a hungry person dreams of eating, but awakens hungry still; as when a thirsty person dreams of drinking, but awakens faint and thirsty still. So will it be with the hordes of all the nations that fight against Mount Zion.
Daniel 7:1-3, “In the first year of Belshazzar king of Babylon, Daniel had a dream, and visions passed through his mind as he was lying in bed. He wrote down the substance of his dream. 2 Daniel said: “In my vision at night I looked, and there before me were the four winds of heaven churning up the great sea. 3 Four great beasts, each different from the others, came up out of the sea.”
Deuteronomy 13:1-3, “If a prophet, or one who foretells by dreams, appears among you and announces to you a sign or wonder, 2 and if the sign or wonder spoken of takes place, and the prophet says, “Let us follow other gods” (gods you have not known) “and let us worship them,” 3 you must not listen to the words of that prophet or dreamer. The LORD your God is testing you to find out whether you love him with all your heart and with all your soul.”
Genesis 41:25-27,”Then Joseph said to Pharaoh, “The dreams of Pharaoh are one and the same. God has revealed to Pharaoh what he is about to do. The seven good cows are seven years, and the seven good heads of grain are seven years; it is one and the same dream. The seven lean, ugly cows that came up afterward are seven years, and so are the seven worthless heads of grain scorched by the east wind: They are seven years of famine.
Matthew 1:20-23,” But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”).
Genesis 41:8-12,”In the morning his mind was troubled, so he sent for all the magicians and wise men of Egypt. Pharaoh told them his dreams, but no one could interpret them for him. Then the chief cupbearer said to Pharaoh, “Today I am reminded of my shortcomings. Pharaoh was once angry with his servants, and he imprisoned me and the chief baker in the house of the captain of the guard. Each of us had a dream the same night, and each dream had a meaning of its own. Now a young Hebrew was there with us, a servant of the captain of the guard. We told him our dreams, and he interpreted them for us, giving each man the interpretation of his dream.
Job 33:14-18,” For God does speak—now one way, now another— though no one perceives it. In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falls on people as they slumber in their beds, he may speak in their ears and terrify them with warnings, to turn them from wrongdoing and keep them from pride, to preserve them from the pit, their lives from perishing by the sword.
Numbers 12:6 “He said, “Listen to my words: “When there is a prophet among you, I, the LORD, reveal myself to them in visions, I speak to them in dreams.”
1 Samuel 3:1”The boy Samuel ministered before the LORD under Eli. In those days the word of the LORD was rare; there were not many visions.
Isaiah 30:10 “They say to the seers, “See no more visions!” and to the prophets, “Give us no more visions of what is right! Tell us pleasant things, prophesy illusions.”
Lamentations 2:9 “Her gates have sunk into the ground; their bars he has broken and destroyed. Her king and her princes are exiled among the nations, the law is no more, and her prophets no longer find visions from the LORD.
Ezekiel 1:1 ”In my thirtieth year, in the fourth month on the fifth day, while I was among the exiles by the Kebar River, the heavens were opened and I saw visions of God.”
Ezekiel 8:33 “He stretched out what looked like a hand and took me by the hair of my head. The Spirit lifted me up between earth and heaven and in visions of God he took me to Jerusalem, to the entrance of the north gate of the inner court, where the idol that provokes to jealousy” stood.
Ezekiel 13:16”those prophets of Israel who prophesied to Jerusalem and saw visions of peace for her when there was no peace, declares the Sovereign LORD.”
Ezekiel 40:2 “In visions of God he took me to the land of Israel and set me on a very high mountain, on whose south side were some buildings that looked like a city.
Ezekiel 43:3 “The vision I saw was like the vision I had seen when he came to destroy the city and like the visions I had seen by the Kebar River, and I fell facedown.
Daniel 1:17 ”To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning. And Daniel could understand visions and dreams of all kinds.”
Daniel 2:28…”but there is a God in heaven who reveals mysteries. He has shown King Nebuchadnezzar what will happen in days to come. Your dream and the visions that passed through your mind as you were lying in bed are these:
Daniel 4:5 “I had a dream that made me afraid. As I was lying in bed, the images and visions that passed through my mind terrified me.”
Daniel 4:10, “These are the visions I saw while lying in bed: I looked, and there before me stood a tree in the middle of the land. Its height was enormous.”
Daniel 4:13,”In the visions I saw while lying in bed, I looked, and there before me was a holy one, a messenger, coming down from heaven.”
Daniel 7:1 “In the first year of Belshazzar king of Babylon, Daniel had a dream, and visions passed through his mind as he was lying in bed. He wrote down the substance of his dream.”
Daniel 7:15 “I, Daniel, was troubled in spirit, and the visions that passed through my mind disturbed me.
Hosea 12:10, “I spoke to the prophets, gave them many visions and told parables through them.”
Joel 2:28 “And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions.”
Micah 3:6 “Therefore night will come over you, without visions and darkness, without divination. The sun will set for the prophets, and the day will go dark for them.
Acts 2:17 “In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions your old men will dream dreams.”
2 Corinthians 12:1, “must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord.
