“As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”
Proverbs 27:17
Friendship is a God-given gift. Do we put too much pressure on our friends to “be there” for us? The problem is we do not extend grace. We want our friends to know our intentions, yet we judge them on their actions. Guilty as charged. Friendship goes both ways, right? This is true. Imagine if we focused on being a friend more than if our friends are making the cut. We have some great lessons in Scripture.
Jonathan and David: (Read in completion in 1 Samuel 18) I Samuel 18:3, “Then Jonathan and David made a covenant because he loved him as his own soul.” That is a deep connection between two friends and one I have felt with some of mine. When you love to that level, you think it is a forever thing. David and Jonathan had to go separate ways because Saul was out to kill David. Saul was Jonathan’s father.
Talk about messy… Next week on Jerry Springer, just joking of course, but the recipe calls for disaster. This had to be hard for Jonathan. Both men accepted and went their separate ways. Truth is, sometimes friendship is for a season or for a reason. I have had some that have broken me, but I knew I had to move on with God. It is important that our friendships do not jeopardize what God is leading us to do.
Job and His Friends: (Read the complete story in the book of Job) Job had just encountered a crisis like no other. His whole world was crashing down on him. His children died in a horrible accident. His crops and livestock were gone. This man was broken. In Job 2:11-13, “Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this adversity that had come upon him, each one came from his own place-Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Schugite, and Zophar the Naamathite. For they had an appointment together to come and mourn with him, and to comfort him. And when they raised their eyes from afar and did not recognize him, they lifted their voices and wept; and each one tore his robe and sprinkled dust on his head toward heaven. So they sat down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great.” All I can say is wow, do you have friends like that? I do not know of anyone who would take on my grief and sit in quiet with me for 7 days and nights. I think Job’s friends get a bad rap. After the seven days, these compassionate men try to wrap their heads around the disaster. They hope to share the wisdom that will help. A pep talk, pick yourself up, and get on with it kinda thing.
There are things that happen in this world we cannot comprehend. To try will lead to frustration. What they did, in the beginning, was awesome. They messed up when they attempted to fix it. It was unfixable. A crisis can change a friendship. God may not give them the grace He gives you to get through it. Man, it hurts to feel that separation at such a raw time. It’s okay to pull from the good and leave when you need to. It doesn’t have to define you or the friendship.
JESUS AND THE TWELVE (Matthew 26 for complete story) Matthew 26:36-38, “Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to the disciples, “Sit here while I go and pray over there.” And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and He began to be sorrowful and deeply distressed. Then He said to them, My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with me.”
Jesus chose to do life with people. He enjoyed the companionship. He had His twelve, the big group you hang out with an invite to parties. When things got serious He pulled His best buds to come with Him. Things are getting serious, they read it on His face and all night He had been acting weird and speaking in mystery. Jesus asked only that they stay and pray for Him. For all that He had done for them, it’s like the least they could do, right? Jesus is in great distress and returns to find his besties asleep.
The point is, our friends will let us down. They do not always understand the severity of our needs. Humanity will get the best of them. It is hard. It hurts, but it happens. Do not expect your friends to fulfill those deep needs and know they will let you down sometimes. It doesn’t mean they don’t care. Maybe it means we need to rely on the Lord instead of our friends.