No one prepared me for this part of parenting. Sister, I don’t know about you, but this stage is hard! When asked to introduce myself I share that I am married and have three half-grown kiddos. The punchline is two are legally adults but they don’t always act like it. How do you balance giving advice but not suffocating them?
I feel my kids cringing, as I type. And yes, if you wonder, they will read this blog. “How sweet that they read your content,” you say, no, they will read so they can bring it up! The half-grown love a good argument!
A constant prayer has been for the Lord to allow me to parent like Him. I ask to know when to hold close and when to let go. When they are little it’s easier to know because they will say exactly what they need. Hold me! Let me do it! When they get big they want to do it themselves but will not ask for help if it kills them. Inside they can be crumbling and out of their mouths, “gosh mom, I am fine, quit making a big deal of everything!”
I am in the midst of this season, so this blog can be taken with a grain of salt.
My husband and I survived a prodigal. I thought we would never survive. It’s that heartache and struggle from which I now parent.
I have some truths under my belt now. This is a short list of my go-to truths in this season of life. Are you with me, momma? We can get through this!
- God is faithful. Our job is to plant the seed.
- Live by example.
- Let go of little things. There are so many little things and to each one this is defined differently. For me the clean bedroom is not so important. Lying is a big deal. I focus on building trust.
- They are listening, always listening. Important life lessons can be taught in conversation better than corrective times. When they share what their friends are doing for example.
- Ask questions, get them thinking. Our children are smarter than we give them credit.
- Trust your instincts. If you think something is wrong it probably is. Try to chase them down and hug them. Just reassure, don’t pry.
- Let them have their secrets. You don’t need to know everything, momma. When they share shocking information-don’t freak out!!!
- Spend time their way. Text, facetime or lay on their bed. Time is precious. Remember “Cats In The Cradle” song by Harry Chapman Carpenter?
- Remember God knew who you were and what you are capable of when He gave you this child. You’ve got this! Don’t be a friend, be mom, it’s time to transition to a big kid mom and that takes time.
My prodigal came home. God is faithful. Parenting is a challenge at every stage. Sometimes I just want to go back to laying on the floor playing tractors. It felt simple. Now, its late-night conversations. It’s all good!
