Let’s be honest some people are hard to love. We all have someone in our life who is a fun sucker! As Christians, we are called to love. How do you love a porcupine? The answer is very carefully… and that is not a punchline, it is truth. The caution is for you.
If you love a porcupine, you are going to get hurt. You can however set yourself up to express love without having to do first aid after each encounter.
If your porcupine is not a forever relationship for example a spouse, parent, or child, then pray if you are supposed to have a relationship with this person. You could be setting yourself up for misery. Not everyone is our mission. Remember Jesus didn’t heal every person He encountered. He walked past some and went out of His way for others.
Do you want to know why? He knew in whom He would make a difference.
Not everyone wants help. Those people will suck you dry if you are not cautious. Believe me, I feel like an expert in this area. My husband says I am a magnet to these challenging folks. Don’t get me wrong here, all people are worthy and loved by God. Not all people are our mission. I wasted a lot of time and energy or friendships that did nothing for them and left me exhausted.
So, what’s a girl to do? Well, Jesus loving girls, I got ya! If this is a forever relationship, love them like crazy with good healthy boundaries. Here are my tips for loving and staying sane.
- You decide when to see them. Prepare to see them. Know it will be all about them and be okay with that.
- When the conversation goes south, get out! Prepare in advance a way to end the conversation. Keep time short and sweet.
- Do not give advice unless you are asked. Just listen! It is most likely all they want. You can listen without emotionally involving yourself in a rescue effort.
- Do not argue. This type of person may love to argue. I do not, however. Let them be right. It won’t hurt you. They will not be as excited when you don’t feed the fire.
- Talk about non-confrontational topics. The weather or a television program doesn’t typically engage emotions.
- Show love. Express love. Pray for them and tell them you will.
- Do what you’re able to do within your boundaries that you set for yourself.
- Be their personal prayer warrior, not 911 operator. You do not have to pick up the telephone each time it rings. You have voicemail.
You’ve got this!!!! I believe in you. We are called to love all. We are not supposed to be their savior. Jesus is their savior. Point them to Jesus. Pray for God to give you wisdom on boundary setting. It took me many years to get to this point, but I am so much happier. I have peace!
