Tips for Survival
- Accept the reality that Christmas may not feel good this year. It is okay. Be yourself and be true to your feelings.
- Give yourself permission to do what you need to do to get through the day. That might mean you go to an event or you don’t. You may stay a shorter duration than in the past.
- Let people know what you need. Often well-meaning loved ones do not know what we need. Tell them. For example, “I will be there tonight however if I feel overwhelmed I may leave, please do not be offended.”
- Plan ahead for what you want. Do you want to talk about your loved one? Do you want to find a way to honor them? Would you prefer to rest from your sadness for a day?
- Try a new tradition. This year will be different and no one can change that. It may be comforting to stay with what you know or it can be nice to create something new. It may feel more natural to change it up.
- Respect your boundaries.
- Know that even families who share grief will grieve differently. Do not compare. Each one is entitled to their feelings and way to cope. Allow room for others to express their feelings in their way without condemnation.
- Do not let the opinions of others burden you. It is common for outsiders to suggest you move on too soon. It takes as long as it takes. You will determine what is best for you.
- Remember the true meaning of Christmas is the birth of Christ. You can honor the birth without getting caught up in all that goes with it.
- Your goal is to survive the day and be kind to yourself.